oily donuts

Yes, this, exactly. Exactly.

It can’t be fairly judged from the outside by someone who’s never been down that far, because it doesn’t make sense. It’s not rational. It’s emotional and perplexing and horrible.

But “selfish” presumes that a person who’s gotten to this point is even capable of properly weighing their despair against the needs of their friends and family for them to continue to live. It seems like a simple decision to make. And until you’ve crossed a certain point, it is. But depending on how far down you’ve found yourself, you may not know where that point is, or what it really feels like once you’ve crossed it.

I know how it feels to be so down for such a long time that you lose sight of things that seem obvious to someone who’s not feeling like you are. I can understand how it could go past the point of no return. I hope I never get there. But I can’t look at someone who has and simply call it “selfish.”